One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Non-Jews are for practice
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
