dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
