Your tits are I can't wait for
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
