i just wanna soil my oats bro
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
vagina is talking i cant
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
