Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
