i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
