Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
