Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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