so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
