Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
