dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
