my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
