I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
