I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
operation harelip BJ is a go
Don't EVER smell your tampon
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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