He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize