no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
