Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
