Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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