shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just want nice things and good sex
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
