Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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