My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
