the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
accomplished twins. life is a go
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
