And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize