i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize