Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
