evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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