Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
