i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
