Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
this hospital has no fireball
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
