dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
