Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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