im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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