the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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