Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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