he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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