I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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