it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
