atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
