so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
