i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
