just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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