I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
look no pants
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
