Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
