Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
