She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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