is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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