a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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