if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
