girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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