the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
