two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
