sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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