he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
