i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
