I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
