I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
