I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Farmville is her only friend.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
