I heard we made out
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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