o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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