Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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