i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
