i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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