**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
