I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
